So there I was, sweating my way through a New York summer. I was the slow one holding up traffic on the subway stairs. I guilted many a New Yorker into giving me their seat on the train. We had moved to a new apartment in June (pro tip: pregnant women don't have to move anything!), so our apartment was a mess of half unpacked boxes and furniture I desparately wanted to arrange, but couldn't. My nesting was frustrated by obvious constraints. Deston was on his summer break and going to the Chinese language summer camp, Ming Yuan. It was okay, but sitting at a desk was not ideal for him. He did enjoy the kung fu at the end of the camp, though. They put on a lovely and elaborate final ceremony as well--it was impressively orchestrated. My mom came to stay with us about a week before my due date (don't quote me on timing--this was three years ago!). I honestly don't really remember what my actual due date was. I had decided to work right up to my due date because I wanted as much paid time off as I could get after the baby came. It was into this hectic environment that my little Lemon was born.
The entire weekend before Lucinda was born I was waffling on whether or not to go into the office to finish up some work. It was hot, I was tired, and there was plenty to do at home. My mom was amazing, as always, cooking and helping with Deston while I did my thing. Drew was working at Eataly, still on the night shift, so he was maintaining that crazy schedule. He had done so much for the move--he found the apartment and wrangled his friends into helping us. We moved to the new place (where we still live) to get more space, though the little bedroom designated for the baby was still more of a storage space then a nursery. We had painted the kids' rooms before we moved in, however, and I was so proud of us for managing that. Drew and I set up our room with the bassinet/changing table insert for the Pack n' Play we still had from when Deston was a baby. We had the car seat installed in the back seat of the car, next to Deston's convertible car seat. We were pretty much ready by the time my due date came up. I had not, notably, packed my hospital bag yet.
I never did go into the office that weekend. I put it off, thinking I would get to the things bugging me on Monday. On Sunday, Mom, Deston, and I ran errands. We went to Home Depot to get the shelves for the baby clothes, blankets, etc. We went to the grocery store. I remember being in Home Depot, trying to decide which power strip to buy and just feeling so cranky and uncomfortable. Looking back, I was probably experiencing some prelabor symptoms. My focus was checking things off the to do list, so that's what we did. When we got back home, I laid down and listened to my pregnancy and labor guided imagery cd. I thought to myself, "I'm ready." The rest of the day passed without distinction.
At midnight Deston woke up and I went in to get him back to sleep. The poor kid had been sleeping in the convertible toddler bed before the move (he was 5 that summer) and after the move he was making do with just the crib mattress on the floor. We had gotten Drew's old bed frame from our storage unit in Delaware and I had to order a custom mattress because the frame is quite old and doesn't fit a standard twin. So, Deston was roughing it. I was sitting on the floor next to him as he fell back asleep. I turned to stand up to go back to bed myself and I had a very strong contraction. It came out of nowhere and really shocked me. I stood up and went to the bathroom. As I sat on the toilet, I called Drew. It was clear we had to get to the hospital pronto. Drew was done with work at that point and his habit was to go out with his co-workers for burgers and beers. He had made one of his friends promise not to let him take any shots in case he had to hotfoot it to the hospital with me. That night he tried to convince his friend to let him join in on the first round of shots, and thank goodness, his friend held firm and denied him the pleasure. I got Drew on the phone, told him to get home soon, and went to wake up my mom. In between increasingly strong and fast contractions, I got dressed and told my mom what to put in my bag. I called the hospital to let them know we were coming in. I was seeing the midwives at Maimonides and we live within ten blocks of the hospital. Drew got home, we got in the car, and were off. By the time we pulled up outside the emergency entrance to Maimonides, I was transitioning. Drew was opening my door as I was screaming, "I can't move! I can't move right now!" After that passed, we hobbled into the waiting room and someone escorted us up to maternity. Drew checked me in and I went into the bathroom to give them the urine sample they wanted. This was a mistake--I should have just told them I was in advanced labor--but I'm a rule follower, so I did what the midwife said. As I sat on the toilet again, I had a massive contraction and started screaming for help. Having locked the bathroom door (of course, privacy was my primary concern at that moment!), I had to heave myself up and let them in. When that contraction passed, we moved into the delivery room, just in time for my water to break. After that, it went really fast. I pushed, it hurt like a motherfucker because there was no time for drugs of any kind, and I screamed a lot. At several points, I said "I'm sorry for being so dramatic!" The worst part of the labor was how shaky I was in between pushing. My leg muscles were spasing and it was disconcerting. Time slowed down for me. Drew provided encouragement and commentary--I think he was astounded to watch it all happen. He definitely helped me to keep going. I'm pretty sure I also said "I can't do this!" at least once. There were moments that I felt I had been trying to push the baby out for hours. It felt endless. I had no idea how long it was going to take.
It's important to note that this kind of labor was totally foreign to Drew and I. Deston's birth was the total opposite of Lucinda's and I ended up having a c-section. So, as excited as I was to birth Lucinda without intervention, when I was in it, it was intense and I really didn't know what to expect. However, I only pushed for a small amount of time. At about 1:30 am, an hour and a half after I felt that first contraction, Lucinda was born. The midwife gave her to me and I immediately noticed she was a girl--just what I had been hoping for! I must have said "I'm so glad she's a girl" a hundred times. You know that high people talk about after giving birth--I can tell you it's amazing. I felt incredible. I was cheerful, relaxed, and so happy. I got her to latch on right away and sat back, enjoying my new baby. The high was short lived, of course, but I still love to think about those moments, holding her for the first time. She was only six pounds, much smaller than Deston had been. I could go on for pages about the love I felt for her, but I'll spare you! Drew picked the name Lucinda and we chose Pearl (a family name on my side and my birth stone) for her middle name. Lucinda means "light" and Lucinda has been a ray of sunshine since the day she joined our family. She was born with dusky blue eyes and to everyone's surprise, they didn't change. She's also the only left-handed person in our immediate family, though my dad and brother are both left-handed.
When Deston was born I had an entire room with two beds to myself. Drew and my mom alternated staying with me. I remember being terrified to leave! Not so with number two. I was ready to get home after my two or three days in the hospital. My roommate was fine, but Deston couldn't visit because of hospital rules. Being away from him for so long (the longest we'd ever been apart), was one of the toughest parts of her birth actually. I couldn't have anyone stay with me overnight either, so I got very little sleep in the hospital. She tended to be awake most of the night and then want to sleep during the day. We started correcting that as soon as we got home! When we came home, Deston and my mom were waiting at the top of the stairs for us. Drew put the car seat bearing Lucinda down and Deston started jumping up and down, he was so excited! He was glad to see me, but I think he was more thrilled to see his tiny baby sister. He was, and still is, so devoted to her. They argue now that she's old enough to be a real threat to his toys and territory, but the bond between them cemented early.
Today Lucinda turns three and it's hard to remember when she was a wee baby! She's proving to be an adept three year old--throwing her diminutive weight around and making incoherent demands. But, she's also still a sunny girl with a robust sense of humor and a penchant for telling stories. She loves her farm animals, books, baby dolls, and play fighting with Deston. One of her favorite play games is school where she can tell everyone to sit down nicely and listen. She sings to herself in Chinese and English. I love that she's somewhat bilingual, but I feel I might have to learn Mandarin if she keeps using it around the house. Happy Birthday Lemon!!
 |
| Slowing down together after her hurried entrance. |
 |
| Such a wee thing! |
 |
| Hanging with her Papa. |
 |
| I seriously cannot believe how little Deston looks! He has aged so much in three years. It's crazy. Where are my babies?! Despite his face here, he was super excited to have Lucinda home and wanted to hold her all the time. |
 |
| Lucinda on her birthday. |
 |
| Lucinda being three. |
No comments:
Post a Comment