Deston Goes To Kindergarten

Barry the elephant helped him through a big day.

Deston had his first day of Kindergarten today and we all managed not to cry. Of course, all three of us got up, got ready, went to the school, and sat in his room for an hour listening to his teacher. Then we went to a diner and had brunch on a Thursday. Not exactly traumatic stuff. Still, this was the official first day and we all survived.

Two of his friends from Red Apple are in his class and I think it really helped to see them this morning. Deston's teacher is a force to be reckoned with. This is what I learned about her:

• She believes in instilling rigor into her students. She talked a lot about rigor.
• Her mother died three years ago on September 17th and has a school named after her.
• She's been teaching for 37 years.
• She expects all her students to speak clearly and correctly. She told all of us to "never talk down to our children."
• Homework exists for parents to learn how to instruct their children.

I have to say, she's not my idea of a warm and fuzzy Kindergarten teacher, but I think she knows what she's doing and I like the way she talked to the kids. She's so incredibly Brooklyn. By that I mean, she's in your face, says exactly what she's thinking and doesn't bother to make it sound nice. For example, the not talking down to your kids thing was mildly insulting. She teaches the Gifted & Talented class and she thinks we use baby talk? C'mon. However, she said a lot of great stuff that makes me believe she has the right focus. She stressed the reading and writing part of the curriculum. She instructed the parents to commit to sitting down and reading with their child every night. This is an important message and I'm glad she understands how important shared reading is to a child's success in school. She also went on at length about the acceptable reasons one might not be able to do the mandatory nightly reading/homework. They include, religious holidays and other cultural celebrations. Grumpiness and unwillingness to do homework is not an acceptable excuse. In fact, using this excuse is the parent's fault. It was . . . interesting to me that she chose to include a jab at the parents on the first day. No doubt she's dealt with a lot of parental stupidity, but still.

I was reflecting about my feelings surrounding this day and I realize I've been thinking (and worrying) about it for a long time. It hit me hard that Deston is old enough to be in Kindergarten. I haven't felt quite prepared for this phase. He is growing up and away. He'll be building his own identity, at school and among his peers. This will separate him from me and Drew. This is where he learns to rely on himself, deal with peer pressure, achieve, and fail. The dominant voice in my head has been fearful mother. Will he eat all his lunch? Will he be able to maneuver the bathroom without accidents or embarrassment? I don't know. He probably will. He'll probably be just fine. He's a capable kid, full of ideas and opinions. He's navigated daycare and preschool with confidence. The problem for me, as with most things, is not knowing the answer to my worried questions. I don't like not knowing.

Deston takes after me in that he doesn't react well to change, though he is pretty good at adapting quickly. He's been difficult this past week and I know it's because he's feeling stress. The end of preschool and saying goodbye to some of his friends wasn't easy for him. He has said he's scared of going to Kindergarten and was relieved that Drew and I were coming with him. I take part of the blame for his nervousness--I'm sure he picks up on my stress. I hope I've counter-balanced some of that with my reassurances about how fun Kindergarten is (truly, is any grade more fun?).

My goofy boy

We all have a lot to get used to and a lot to experience this year. As much as I'm nervous, I'm also excited. We faced the day as a family and that's how we'll take on everything else that comes our way.

The boy looks toward his future.