Don't get too excited. This isn't the announcement that I'm pregnant. I've been thinking a lot lately about when we'll have our next kid. Drew and I were both hoping that this would be the year, but being laid off put a wrench in those plans. Now that I'm in a new job I'll have to wait the obligatory year so I can earn my maternity benefits--or at least time the birth to be at the year mark of my employment. Don't get me wrong, I am unbelievably lucky to have had no lapse in employment and I'm very happy at my new job. I am disappointed, however, that we have to put off having baby number two. My mother recently sent me an article about spacing your kids and the section about "Four or More Years" was entitled "Two Onlies." This is a depressing thought to me because I really dislike the idea of having an only child and to characterize siblings as two onlies is perverse. Their point was that the age difference can prevent younger children from playing together, though things even out eventually. I can appreciate this, though after Deston was born I knew I wasn't ready to have another for a while. Now Deston is a bona fide kid and I miss having a baby around. I do worry about having too big a gap in their ages and I'd like to keep it at four years. Who knows? Drew thinks we can't afford to have another baby but really we can't afford vacations.
This evening our neighbor brought out coffee and we sat on the front steps talking. She's older and has many children and many many grand-children. As she has done before, she asked Drew and I when we're having another baby. She gestured that Deston is getting older and mentioned how young I still am. I wish it were as simple as it looks from her perspective. It would be nice to feel that I'm in control of when to have another kid. No doubt it will work out the way it's supposed to and not necessarily the way I'd like it to.
2 comments:
"Man plans and God laughs!"
I'm struggling with this issue myself. If we're going to have another child, I'd like it to be sooner rather than later. When we move to Pittsburgh I will only be working part-time, so I won't be bringing in anything if I take time off for a baby. With Rob still in school, it will be very difficult financially, but I just don't want to wait until he's done. I would be 32 and Bella 8. I had also hoped to do a pastry program out there, but I almost have to decide to spend money on that or another child. What's the point in starting a new career if I'm then going to stop to have a baby? It's tough. I don't know what I'll decide to do. I'm going to give it another year, and then I'll see where my head and heart are on the issue. As for the two onlies thing. That's bullshit. I was 8 when Laura was born and 13 when Gina was born. They weren't my peers of course, but I love the relationship I've had with them. I was an only for the first 8 years of my life, and it was a difficult adjustment at first to suddenly have to share everything with a baby, but it was so good for me, and I loved being an older sister who could really help take care of my younger sisters.
Post a Comment